Men Wreck and Burn Things in Hamburg, Germany at G20: Women and Girls Now Clean Up The Mess They Left Behind!


I wanted to point out this contrast between men and women, which I know will not be lost on my handful of readers. I have watched videos of the terrible things that were done in Hamburg, Germany over the past few days by so-called anti-facists (anti-fa) leftists.

I remember Hamburg as a beautiful city and a relatively safe and peaceful one as big cities go, but that was in the late ’90s. It was very disturbing to see what these violent leftists, almost all men did to the city. I’m posting two videos below. The first one is of their violence and destruction and you will see that the vast majority of people, if not all of the people, in the first video are males. Then, in the second video, you will see the contrast. Who is cleaning up the mess these men left behind? It’s almost all German women and their daughters.  And, this is a pattern we are all familiar with. The Germans must certainly be familiar with it. Men make war and women have to clean and rebuild in their wake.

Here, at least 1000 people are estimated to be partaking in the clean up  mission in Hamburg. These are the real Germans, almost all women, and the Germans I know and love. I’m very proud of them, but isn’t this a shame!:




The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend, Apparently: Trump Stops Non-white Rapists from Entering the U.S.!

This is why right-wing women agree to take a certain level of abuse from white men. You see, the alternatives to not taking it can be much worse. This is how we got Trump and although I am yet trepidatious, I really am pleased with the news I am getting so far about his actions in office this first few days. To my amazement, he appears to be keeping some of his promises. This is highly unusual in a president. Usually, they don’t. So, this is a pleasant surprise, so far.

Previously, I have posted about the dangers disarmed white women are facing in countries like Germany, Sweden, the Netherlands and others where the Muslims have invaded. Just because it hasn’t been discussed much lately, doesn’t mean it has gotten any better. The crimes against white women continue and once these savages are allowed into the country, the native men begin joining in on the rape and murder.

The German government has gone so far as to produce public service announcements describing how the invaders should go about fucking white women and girls, complete with illustrations of black men raping white women.

So, I have been concerned about these negroes and Middle-easterners, now euphemistically referred to as  “southerners” in the German press, coming here to do the same. When they surround a woman 30 or 50 at a time and begin tearing her limb from limb like a pack of wild dogs, it’s hard to imagine how we could even shoot our way out of such a situation! We, at least, have something to shoot with. The European women have nothing.

But, now this problem may have been, at least, deferred for a little while as we see the flow of immigrants has slowed since yesterday, as reported by Refugee Resettlement Watch, which has been reporting on this menace for years. There are many reports today that questionable individuals are being banned from entering the U.S., at this time. The liberals – who are apparently not the primary targets of these violent perverts – are howling and the crocodile tears are flowing.

According to this article today at CNN, “We don’t want them here,” Trump said as he signed the order. “We want to ensure that we are not admitting into our country the very threats our soldiers are fighting overseas. We only want to admit those into our country who will support our country and love deeply our people.”

This seems too good to be true. I’m not used to good things happening and justice is something I have never known. So, I’m still hold my breath a little… They may thank their lucky stars that they were not admitted very soon because women are sick of being hunted and raped! We are not Germans and Swedes here. We are Americans and we are a completely different kind of women, from my observation. The enemy is not going to fare nearly as well here as they have among the Europeans, if they were ever to be admitted in such numbers.

I’m very pleased with Trump as president, at this moment. Although, I still hope his alleged victims get their day in court.


“Good Girls Revolt,” a New TV Series Portrays the Lawsuit Brought by Eleanor Holmes Norton

This clip below from the Stephen Colbert Show made me feel really good and I hope it does the same for you. He is bringing a little advertisement to a new TV show, “Good Girls Revolt,” which tells the story of a civil rights suit brought by Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton against Newsweek for equal employment opportunities for women.

It is rare to hear the term, “civil rights,” applied to women. I’m glad someone remembers that we are included in the Civil Rights Act of 1964. A lot of people seem to forget this. Maybe this new TV series will remind us all.

Here’s the clip:

Here’s a bit about the show, its cast, and a few reviews from viewers of the pilot, from IMDB:

This is actually an Amazon Series:

The trailer:

Watch Episode 1, free right now from

Baking with Amy, Part II: Review of Amy Bouzaglo’s Cookbook, “Baking with Amy: Baking Up Some Magic”

I recently purchased a digital (.epub) version of the cookbook, “Baking with Amy: Baking Up Some Magic” by Amy Bouzaglo, published in April, 2015. This reader-friendly book is written by the chef of Amy’s Baking Company in Scottsdale, Arizona, of “Kitchen Nightmares” fame and is sure to be of interest to culinarians and aspirants of all levels of expertise.

A Beautiful Book

unnamed_grandeThis is a beautiful book, well-laid out, and very pleasing to the eye. It is precise and well-written. It is not a typical celebrity chef cookbook or, for that matter, a typical cookbook, at all. The author is a chef first and an only accidental celebrity after the fact. It contains recipes for desserts I love, but have not yet tried making, as well as a few that I already make. This book provides clever additions, special ingredients, and describes expert techniques for making some of my favorite dessert dishes in a better way. It, also, provides unique recipes and flavor combinations for dessert dishes I’ve never seen before.

While I have only purchased the digital version of this book, I would really love to have a hard copy for my personal library because this such a beautiful book it has a collectible appeal for those of us who collect cookbooks. I have a collection, many of which are vintage first editions and I choose them as much for their unique recipes as the beauty of their illustrations.

Remarkably Well-organized

Apart from its beauty, the most immediately outstanding feature of this cookbook, which sets it apart from any others I’ve seen, is its remarkable organization. A certain notorious chef commented that he didn’t see how a single person (or one with very little assistance) in a relatively small kitchen could produce so many different types of food from scratch. When you see how well organized this book is, you will see how it is possible. With the information in this book a person can produce a great variety of desserts from a relatively few basic recipes.

The organization of the book is the primary basis of its creativity. The author shows you how to do big things by doing smaller things first. There is a great deal of emphasis on doing things in a prescribed way, then using the base recipes you’ve mastered to let your own creativity flourish. She provides you with 20 basic recipes, then shows you many ways to put them together to produce a wide variety of desserts, which if combined with your own taste and creativity could be the source of an infinite number of delicious desserts and flavor combinations.

Instructive, Encouraging, and Creatively Inspiring

The author is generous in her encouragement to individuality and creativity. This book, also,  inspires the reader to generate ideas for improving his or her own existing recipes. Whenever a tip or technique is provided, the author explains why it is a good thing to do. I already have ideas from this book of how I’m  going to change some of my current baking practices to make some of my own favorite recipes even better. The book is very creatively inspiring this way.

For instance, I just made a half-batch of my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe, which I’ve been making for years, using some tips and ideas I got from this book. I used super fine sugar (which I made into super fine by using a food processor) and Kosher salt; normally, I use granulated Morena sugar (using Morena sugar is one of my own personal baking touches) and sea salt. I, also, sifted the flour, which I don’t normally do, and the recipe turned out better than ever! This is a tiny example of the tips offered to beginners and intermediates, however, I can already see that the information in this cookbook is going to make  my current baking practices so much more professional.

Recommended for Beginners, Intermediates, and Experts Alike

This cookbook is good for dessert-makers of all different levels of expertise. There are lots of beginner tips for making desserts that are regarded as tricky or difficult to make. It is, also, unique enough for more accomplished bakers. I am somewhere between a beginner and an intermediate. There are certain things I feel I’m accomplished at making, yet I feel I could improve on, and there a number of dishes I would like to try. This is a very good book for someone at my level of expertise.

My selections from this book, which I plan to make first: The Chocolate Mousse; the Vanilla Bean Cheesecake; and then the cherry pie. I have never made a mousse or a cheesecake before. These are two of the base recipes in the cookbook. Once mastered, you can make other fancy dessert combinations with them. My favorite dessert in the whole world is cherry pie and I think I make a good one, but I see room for improvements as I read this book. I want to try the cherry pie recipe in this book exactly as it is written. I am very excited to try these recipes and I will post an article about my experiences with, at least, one of them in an upcoming article. I think I might start with the Chocolate Mousse!

Where to Buy “Baking with Amy”

Buy the book from Amy’s website:

This is the author’s homepage:

You can, also, buy the ebook directly from Lulu for only $3.00:

If you’d like to purchase the digital epub version, but don’t have a reading device, you can read it on your computer by downloading a free epub reader. My two favorites are Calibre (which I prefer for my Windows 7 PC) and Ice cream (which I prefer for Windows 8).

Scroll down under “Additional Material” below to see videos showing some examples of Amy’s baking style.


Meow! Translation: The End!

F.T.C. Disclosure Statement: This is an unsolicited, unpaid review by an unbiased purchaser of this book, who has no connection to its author.

Copyright Statement: Copyright © 2016 by Radical Witch. All rights reserved.

Permissions Statement: I, hereby, grant permission to Amy Bouzaglo to use the contents of this review, whether in part or in whole, in any way she sees fit, including for any commercial purposes, freely and without attribution.

Additional material:

The video below is an example of Amy’s baking and instructing style. This is a video with a recipe and tips for making Gingerbread men. This video is excellent, but her book is even better!

The following video demonstrates one of the Base Recipes, Creme Brulee, directly from “Baking with Amy”:

Other reviews:

This one contains one of her recipes:


The Power of Fiction to Rewrite the Patriarchal Narrative: Free College-level Writing Courses


Woman Writing

In several of my recent posts, such as, “Radical Feminist Analysis of Dark Shadows, The Television Series (1966-1971),” and “Men’s Propaganda War on Women: Television Sitcoms Designed to Groom Women and Girls for Male Sexual Depravity,” I’ve discussed the use of fiction, mostly in the media of movies and television, to create narratives about society and the relationships of men and women that support the patriarchal establishment and which is highly detrimental to women and girls. I have discussed the almost complete control that men have over the movie industry and how they channel the energy of the most powerful women to the service of males in films, such as in my blogpost, “A Radical Feminist Perspective on Witchcraft Movies: Movie-makers Throw Witches and Women a Bone.” I’ve discussed the television series, “Roseanne,” and how this is regarded as a feminist television show, although, the feminism of the characters is very limited by their social class. I’ve talked about how little has really changed in the portrayal of women in television, of which the television show, “The King of Queens,” is a good example.

Television shows and movies all rely on scripts. Some are originally written as plays while others are adapted into scripts from other forms of fiction, usually novels, novellas, and short stories.

I find that the power of fiction to influence people is generally underestimated. In particular, I’ve noticed that a lot of feminists (including radical ones) are aware of the power of non-fiction. In fact, most are brilliant at writing it, at telling their own personal stories about matters that are difficult to talk about and would be impossible to talk about without the relative anonymity of the internet. But, many regard non-fiction as being more important and may be quick to dismiss fiction.

In fact, this post is inspired by  an online discussion with someone who is a very powerfully influential and courageous exited-woman (one who was trafficked as a child and survived!) and I found she was quick to dismiss fiction as the construction of some far off ideal or the creation of a feminist utopia that can never be. While there has been some fiction that imagines life without men, such as Herland, published in 1915 by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, there are other ways to approach writing radical feminist literature.

The examples of such writing are very few because, as I’ve shown in previous posts, fictional narratives must serve men or else they will not see the light of day. Historically, women were forbidden to write and those who did were regarded as whores, which is why they were rarely published, had to publish under masculine-sounding names, and when they wrote, they served men in their writing, such as was the case with Jane Austen, who was praised to high heaven in her time by the likes of Sir Walter Scott and the Prince Regent of England.

Writing, publishing and now movie-making and television-script-writing, producing and directing are still areas that men try very hard to keep women out of. Certain genres of fiction, in particular, science fiction, are very difficult for women to break into or to be acknowledged for their achievements. Sci-fi is notoriously male dominated and women who have attended sci-fi conventions, regardless of their level of achievement, have been subject to all kinds of sexual denigration by the men.

There are numerous articles and discussions online devoted just to harassment of women writers by the men, including men writers, at sci-fi writers’ events. Here’s a sampling of what women writers are subjected to, so you can see what I mean:

On Sexual Harassment at Conventions

The above link makes reference to these particular events:

The Character of Sexual Harassment at Cons

You get the idea, of course, and if you’re still wondering just do an internet search on “Sexual Harassment at Sci Fi Conventions.” There’s a whole lot more.

Let me tell you the reason for this, if you don’t already know. This reason, also, spills over into the reason for the outrageous degree and number of incidents in which mobs of men attack women who create or critique games. The science fiction genre is very powerful. It is in some ways more powerful than any other genre of fiction because it is the one that can most be used to both illustrate the absurdities of society and to forge new directions – even to provide the foundation for new scientific discoveries and inventions.

The applied creative imagination is an aspect of witchcraft – truly. When we create fictional worlds and fictional characters we are at one with the creative forces of the universe.

Here are two examples of fictional novels, both written by men, as far as anyone knows, which illustrate the strangeness of our world, both of which were adapted into movies and one of them into a television series, as well:

The Man Who Fell to Earth, published in 1963, by Walter Tevis: This gives us a look at earth from the perspective of an alien from a distant planet. The alien is from a technologically advanced planet, which has run out of water. He has come to earth on a mission to save his dying planet, but is eventually caught, imprisoned, and treated about like you would expect men in white coats would treat any living creature they want to “study.” Their scientific study is an excuse for torture.

Logan’s Run, by William F. Nolan, published in 1967: This is one of my favorite science fiction stories of all time. It’s far better than Star Wars because it tells the truth about mind control in a way that could only be done in fiction. It illustrates how mind control, especially when the system has been in place for centuries, operates to imprison people in their own minds through belief – blind belief. In this story, there has been a nuclear event in the past and civilization only survived by living in the domed city. It looks like paradise, but it is a prison in which everyone must die at age 30, believing that they will be “renewed.” They believe that there is no outside and those who are not part of their organized civilization, which is actually a soft tyranny, are savages. Logan’s Run bears some similarities to Aldous Huxley’s A Brave New World, but I actually think Logan’s Run is even better. Ideally, they should probably be read together because the relationship between the two works seems undeniable.

The men fight to keep this powerful genre out of the hands of women because it is through science fiction that their own evils can be most easily illuminated. The stories in which feminist author’s create utopias, in which men and their power over us is either eliminated or greatly diminished, would fall into this category of fiction.

But, there are other genres that could be just as powerful, if used in the service of women instead of males.

An example of this – and, as you know, there are very few in either books or film, especially since both have been entirely in the hands of men and very controlled by them until very, very recently – an example of how fiction is used in the service of women may be found in one of my favorite witchcraft movies, Season of the Witch, (aka. Hungry Wives or Jack’s Wife), which was made in about 1971, and supposedly the script was written by George A. Romero. Although, I have my doubts about how much he wrote of it, since it may well have been primarily the work of his wife at that time.

Season of the Witch, is of the horror genre, which is, also, a very illuminating one, as discussed a little bit in one of my recent posts on the television show, Dark Shadows. Horror probably does the most to tell the truth about the lives of women and about the nature of men. In Season of the Witch, we do not see a feminist utopia, but a terrible reality, which a woman (and her daughter, to a lesser extent) must somehow escape. She does this by renouncing patriarchal religion and patriarchal cultural norms (to the best of her ability) and embracing her true nature (symbolized by the Green Man chasing her through the house in dreams) as a witch. Eventually, she frees herself in a very real and unexpected way and we are left, as the audience, to decide whether it was witchcraft or not. (I think it was!)  This film is very valuable because its protagonist provides a role model to women. It is, also, a cautionary tale about marriage and the nature of men.

Romero, himself, has described it as a commentary on Women’s Liberation, but it is not something on a large scale, but rather something very personal in one woman’s life. It is one small victory for this woman, which if modeled would be a victory for all of womankind.

It, also, a story we can all relate to in some way, as feminists, because we have had to free ourselves one way or another from the mind control programming laid on us from the time we were infants, enforced by psychological and physical abuse. It takes courage to break free from that – and, unfortunately, it’s something most women never do.

The patriarchal programming of little girls and of adult women through fiction is so absolute. We are inculcated with their sick, twisted ideas about us and our nature to the point that we begin to believe it ourselves. There is so little for girls and women to grab onto as examples of how to plot a path to freedom – and this is where radical feminists writing fiction can make a difference.

I believe we can re-write the world, that we can – through the power of imagination – forge a way out of this dark prison and help lead other girls and women out by providing fictional models of women who have overcome male domination.

I’ve had my own ideas about this for a while, but I’ve never tried to actually write the story. Oh, I’ve put some things down on paper, but there is an art – a craft, a skill, and knowledge – that goes into writing fiction well. So, I have these ideas revolving in my mind. Every day I wake up with them and I feel like a caged animal, thinking, planning, every day how to break out and how to rescue my fellow prisoners. I think this is the answer. We are going to have to write our way free!

You can imagine an ideal world for women. That’s good. But, if that’s too unrealistic for your tastes, you can imagine a world in which one little thing has been made better for girls and women. You can take one little thing like that and run with it and see where it takes you. What if women had complete reproductive rights? What if women never needed to fear rape, again? What if women had as much economic power as men do?

You can take a situation, a single person, or a whole community of people, and use that as your creative experiment in freeing women in some way. What if there was a town – just one town – in which rape was taken seriously? What would happen to the women and the men in that town? What would little girls’ lives be like in such a town?

This one is for NoMorePaperTowels: What if the women in a community developed their own language that only they knew and understood?  How would that affect the people in the community, male and female? How would it change their lives? Would it alter the power dynamic?

Try to think about one tiny aspect of the patriarchy that could be chipped away at and make it happen in the life of a character or characters that you own.

I know activism is a big subject among feminists, especially the liberal feminists, but I ask you to to consider how much more change can be effected quietly, in the minds of people, moving them a little bit at a time, than by taking to the streets with megaphones and picket signs. What I am proposing is a very quiet, stealthy form of protest, in which we insist on our own creation and in which we take control of the fictional ideas that men have created to our detriment and have forced and enforced on us. This is where the real power is. This is why men get angry and attack women at sci-fi conferences, why the try to bar women from the writing and production of films and movies. But, they have had trouble controlling women writing books. They are having more trouble than ever now because the major publishing houses have lost control to digital and on-demand publishing.

Writing is an area in which women have always excelled. It’s an area in which radical feminists do phenomenal work although many of them have had limited educational opportunities, but this doesn’t stop them from being amazing, brilliant writers. I have never known a more talented group of people. I suggest that this is an opportunity, something that we should not leave on the table. We should seize it!

Free Fiction-writing Courses for You to Learn and Perfect Your Craft

Present and upcoming (soon) classes through Coursera on Creative Writing, which you can audit absolutely free!:

The above courses, can be taken for credit toward a degree, but a fee applies. Of course, if you are working toward a degree at another university, you must check with them to make sure they will accept the credit or that it applies in a way that helps you accomplish the attainment of your particular degree.

But, you are free to audit the classes, which means you get to sit in on them, listen to the lectures and get the assignments, which you can complete on your own. The limitations are that you will not be able to participate in peer grading and will not be able to receive a grade.

I’m auditing a couple of these courses right now through Coursera from Wesleyan College (one of the few all-women liberal arts colleges still around) and they are excellent. I’ve previously taken similar courses from another all-women’s liberal arts college, but it has been years ago and it is wonderful to see how fresh the courses have been made. It is very enjoyable and I think it could really help anyone who is trying to write fiction.

Check Coursera often or sign up for email notifications from them (that’s what I’ve been doing for a long time!), so that you are the first to hear about exciting new classes you can audit. Some are taught by famous writers.

The White Supremacist Woman’s View of the White Man and the Question: What Would a “Good Man” Look Like?

This question, “What would a ‘good man’ look like?” and this entire post is inspired by another blogger, Orwell’s Daughter, who has been doing a lot of audio posts lately, as opposed to writing her blogs. She posts the topic and a description at WordPress and then double-tasks by doing an audio post while she gets in her cardio workout.

I’ve had a number of subjects that have come up that I want to blog about, but I’ve been very busy both with work and with taking care of some other important things involving dealing with contractors. I’ve only been able to check out the recent posts of my favorite bloggers and this is my first window of opportunity to sit down and write anything in a while. I’ve been keeping up with Orwell’s Daughter while fixing lunch or dinner. Audio (like radio) is a communication medium I’ve always greatly appreciated.

I think I first ran across her blog a while back when I was looking up something to do with why white males and, in particular the American white nationalists or white supremacists, hate white women so much. I’d had an experience at YouTube in which I left a comment at a video about the Muslim invasion that turned out to be some kind of white supremacist channel. That’s when I discovered how much they hate white women, how much they presume women – in particular, white women – are always hot to be fucked by any male with a functioning dick, and how they regard us as both whores and livestock.  I made what I thought was a supportive comment and, in return, received rape fantasies about me being gang-raped by Pakistanis (that’s a different twist since usually I’m told I should be gang-raped by Mexicans or niggers). The internet provides the opportunity to interact with kinds of people you’d never go near in real life! So, I had no idea that white supremacists or white nationalists were so nasty to “their own” women.

Then, I found Orwell’s Daughter’s blog, which provides some humorous and, also, undoubtedly offensive criticism and insights into this behavior. What I have learned since is that there are two main factions of white supremacists that you will find online. The have similar sounding names and I don’t recall which is which, but one of them got a leader (like all dudebros and demons they love hierarchy and look up to a leader) who is some kind of MRA (Men’s Rights Activist), which probably explains the massive crossover we see between the MRAs and their various factions and the White Supremacists.

But, all White Supremacists appear to be, essentially, MRAs and some kind of conservatives who are all about propogating “the race.” It’s just that there is one faction that is even more vicious and hateful toward women than the other group, if you can believe it. They all try to figure out how they can lure white women to impregnate and when they fail at this, they often seek Asian or Eastern European women to impregnate – Asians being a favorite choice for them. And, this is, also, very odd. To me they seem to be more of an openly racist faction of MRAs who have a special hatred for white, American women.

Just as there are a few women who are involved in AVfM or MGTOW and who call themselves FeMRAs (Female Men’s Rights Activists), there are a few (very few) white women involved in white supremacist groups. They are there despite the fact that they are subject to all kinds of abuse by the males of the group, which I have witnessed in their online discussions. I’m not sure why they are there, at all. This part is still baffling to me.

All of the world of white supremacy can apparently be divided into two other groups: Christians and pagans. The pagan ones seem to have their act together slightly better than the Christian ones. At least, they recognize that Christianity is a Jewish religion with origins in Africa, possibly Ethiopia (according to Tacitus), but most certainly Africa because, according to their own books, this is where this group of people, who had been kept as slaves, were led out of by Moses, using the power of their invisible man in the sky. The concept of White Supremacist Christians makes about as much sense as keeping the white, European race pure by impregnating large numbers of Asian women. So, at least the pagans are smart enough to figure out that hating Jews and Africans does not harmonize well with adhering to a Jewish/African religion. Most of the women involved seem to be Norse pagans, although, I’ve seen a few Christians who seem to be the breedin’-for-the-Lord type.

Again, why are these women there? I cannot say for certain, but it I believe it may be that they think the last hope for men is the white man. There are reasons why someone might come to that conclusion – all created by the white man, himself, of course.

According to white supremacists, everything good in the world was created by the white man – they sometimes say “white race” or “white people,” but they always mean the males – because, according to them, women exist only to serve men and to breed more of them, either for males to continue their wars or for males to have pretty blond girls to fuck and suck the life’s blood out of, according to the sex of the offspring. Women’s accomplishments have been erased and as feminists we are well-acquainted with this fact.

Men have always owned women and still do to a large extent. In the days even worse than the present ones, they owned us and in so doing, they owned all our property. They owned our bodies and all that we produced by them (children – which they still own under the law in most cases) and they owned all that we produced with our minds and our hands. All intellectual property, all inventions, all that we wrought – all of it was stolen by men and claimed by them as their own.

They barred us from studying at universities, stole our ideas, claimed them as their own and got prizes and awards for them – never giving credit. Such was the case with the Lise Meitner (a European woman who, also, happened to be Jewish) who first came up with the procedure to split the atom. Men stole her work, took the credit, erased her existence, then used her discovery to murder innocent women and children. This is only one such example. There are many more. For instance, Werner Heisenberg, did not discover quantum mechanics – Annie Besant did. Einstein, a complete Jewish fraud who was a patent clerk, stole every single one of his so-called theories – none of which stand up to the scrutiny of any rational, independently thinking individual. Some of the people he stole from were women – some sources say he stole ideas from his own wife, which is not unusual.

Men, also, have relied on the service of women while they did work in cases where they actually did their own work. Still, a remarkable number of household, automobile, and agricultural inventions were the products of the minds and hands of women. In the U.S., property rights for women were a little better early on, but in some other countries, like England, women could not file for patents, so anything they invented would have some man’s name on it because she was OWNED by a man and could not act independently.

Men have, also, forced women to hide our identities not only in the past – but right this very moment. We have to be very careful to protect ourselves because men want to rape and kill us simply because we exist and when we resist them, when we tell the truth, when we express opinions they don’t like, that makes them want to rape and kill us faster.

Many women in the past and even now must hide their identities to obtain paying work. Thanks to the internet, this has never been easier! But, the circumstances of our needing to keep our anonymity because of male violence has not changed, therefore, even now women and women’s accomplishments are being erased and being presumed to be that of males – because that is the only safe way for us to operate.

It is said that history is written by the victorious and this is very true. When you are looking at recorded history, especially the popularly accepted versions of it, you are looking at a propaganda machine. It is a machine run by men at the expense of women. It is run this way so that men can retain their dominance over women and ensure that they have someone to stick their dick in, beat, rape, and kill at will because this is how men roll. As TrustYourPerceptions says, this is their struggle for the human genome and when you look at history, you see the propaganda of this struggle.

The white man is especially good at, not only erasing women’s contributions to the world – women without whom they would not even exist – but, they like to ignore other people’s history and when that’s not possible, they dismiss it or ridicule it.

Recently, I saw a YouTube comment left by a white supremacist in response to a comment by an American Indian. It listed a bunch of things the white dudebro believed that Indians never accomplished. It was all lies – all white man’s propaganda, which the white man, especially, loves to believe. It was something to the effect that the Indians never developed a written language, or built anything, or did any of a whole long list of things. On the contrary, there is a great deal of evidence for the red race once being the technologically dominant people on the planet. Of course, you won’t find this in the white man’s history books. But, you will have trouble ignoring the evidence if you venture down to Mexico, south of the Rio Grande, where the European males did not destroy every single goddamn thing in their wake like they did north of the Rio. Down there, they just destroyed most of it. Still, you can see that these were sophisticated builders with a sophisticated mathematical system (still not understood by the W. Europeans), and a sophisticated system of language and medicine.

For instance, the Aztec language is written in pictographs, which don’t look like the Roman alphabet, but they are a written language system. In fact, it looks so unlike the Western way of writing that it is likely that a typical white man would see it and not recognize it as a written language, at all. One of the oldest surviving manuscripts of the North American continent is an Aztec herbal translated into Latin in the 16th century, called the Badianus (everything else was destroyed by white male agents of the Vatican) Manuscript, demonstrates the sophistication of both their language and their system of botany. Again, it is very different from how Western patriarchal doctors would organize plants and their characteristics, but there is a reason for the organization they used, which has to do with their sophisticated understanding of medicine. All of it was formally lost, due to the intentional and systematic destruction by the white man – who now claims that the dirty savages never accomplished anything, at all. Having survived the Mexican Inquisition (an extension of the Spanish Inquisition, which was horrible, despite the efforts of some to say it wasn’t so bad since they didn’t kill as many women as the German men did in the same period!) the old medical system is kept alive today by many women and passed from mother to daughter.

The Indians may have been the most remarkable builders on this planet. They built civilization after civilization going back for millennia. They are still the builders – I have to hire Mexicans because white men won’t climb up 3 stories! And, remember who built those skyscrapers in New York City? – it wasn’t Donald Trump or anyone who looks like him – it was Navajos with their long, black hair blowing in the wind 50 stories up walking around on 2′ x 4’s. It was, also, the Navajo language that helped the Americans win the war because the Germans, as intelligent as they are, couldn’t decode it. South of the Rio, the Indians built ancient astronomical observatories that look similar to modern Western ones. They studied the stars. All the indications are that they flew in some kind of airships or rockets. There are and were (many of these were wiped out due to European agriculture production) what appear to be aerial markers (visible only from high up in the sky) and landing strips all over this continent. You won’t find this information in the white man’s history books, though. He wants you to believe that his is the dominant race, the dominant genome.

Again, this is just one example. The white man continually ridicules or ignores the accomplishments of other people. Here’s another for instance: Traditional Chinese Medicine. This is one of the most amazing things I’ve run across. It’s an ingenious system that survived centuries in China. It is highly effective, tried and true, yet it’s hard to find a publication written by a white man who has gone to study this system, which isn’t full of arrogance and ridicule. Yet, the Chinese have remedies for many problems that Western orthodox science and medicine cannot begin to fathom.

By contrast, the white man’s medicine has accomplished very little. They are mostly purveyors of disease and pain. They set up not-for-profit companies and claim to be researching a cure for cancer or Alzheimers, or MS, or CP, or autism (which they probably created), while torturing animals and people and doing absolutely nothing else – except taking donations, of course! – and never finding a cure. When was the last time the American Cancer Society, for instance, found a cure for cancer? When did the Alzheimer’s Foundation or the Parkinson’s Association or on and on in this vein – when did they ever cure any of these diseases? They say they are incurable! Although, most have been cured by ordinary people, by folk doctors, Mexican curanderas and brujas, and Traditional Chinese Medicine, and in many cases by American Indians (American Indians have multiple cures for cancer that give excellent results), who have proven cures that have existed for hundreds and thousands of years and they found these cures without torturing animals or people. But, the white man says – and many white women believe it, too – that the white man’s medicine is the best. The truth is that the white man’s medicine has always been bad in every respect, beginning with it’s foundation – it’s entire philosophy being one of materialism and making war.

Now, if you go to school, whether public or private (and I’ve attended both at various levels of my education), you will learn only about the white man’s science, the white man’s history,  his literature, his accomplishments (his buildings, his bridges, etc.), his philosophy, his medicine (biology), which is all told from his perspective, and those of other people, including white women, are carefully excluded. The accomplishments of women are almost entirely excluded – all I remember is Sacajawea and Betsy Ross! Sacajawea was taken captive, first by other Indian men, then by white men, and held as a “wife” and impregnated by a Frenchman. She had the baby with her while acting as a guide to Lewis and Clark. This must have been a great hardship and you can bet she never saw a dime or her freedom for having rendered this service. Betsy Ross, stitched up a flag, and this memory is truly a slap in the face to the contributions of white women in the early colonies, who were, also, slaves – the first white women being indentured servants and wives to particularly unenlightened Englishmen. White European women gave birth, often in the fields they were tending, and, if it’s anything like today, did the work of ten men while the men drank themselves into a stupor and masturbated. The Betsy Ross story is a cruel joke – a last laugh on white women- by the white, male historians.

At this point, if I were talking to a white supremacist, they would point out to me that a whole lot of what appears to be “white men” doing bad things is actually “Jewish men” masquerading as white and influencing the white men with their movies and Jewish propaganda designed to undermine the white race. Jews are running the government and the schools and causing all the corruption and perversion. White men aren’t really all this bad, they would say. They are made to look this way by Jewish impersonators and are being influenced by Jewish-run institutions. This is how the white man diverts attention away from his own crimes, his own degeneracy and the fact that he must be one of the greatest rapists on this planet – look at the Jews. Look at her, or him, or it. They’re the real culprits, he says. Or, at least, he says, they are just as bad as I am so why are you picking on me?

When Hitler cleaned out the Bauhaus in Berlin, they all went to the Los Angeles area and thus Hollywood was born. The first studios were owned by five Jewish families and many actors, directors, pornographers, and other perverts in Hollywood to this day are Jewish. It’s a fact.

It is very interesting. If you look at who owns any of the major media, whether publications like magazines or books, or news or entertainment outlets on television, or the movies, you will find that they are entirely male and overwhelmingly Jewish! It’s the same with the private Federal Treasury, which illegally prints the U.S.Dollar. Isn’t that interesting?

If you search further, you’ll find that they have done a lot of damage to white Europeans, including the males, but mostly it is women who have suffered, as always. For instance, an investigation of the circumstances surrounding the World Wars will lead any unbiased researcher to the conclusion that the official history is a lie told by Jews in order to extort money from the nations of the West and to form the essentially Communist state of Israel, which is a center of political power – not just in the world, but in the U.S. They are manipulating politicians – all of them, including Trump, as you will surely have noticed if you watched the recent speeches to AIPAC (a lobby belonging to Israel – a whole other country) during the elections. If a politician says and does what the Jews in Israel want, they send him a big, fat check! They are lining the pockets of all kinds of politicians, both Democrat and Republican.

The so-called Jewish Holocaust is a lie – an absolute, in-your-face lie – concocted by these same people to guilt and extort the Germans and anyone who even looks like a German! They even extort Switzerland, which was neutral during the war and didn’t have an opportunity to shove any Jews into any ovens, make-believe or otherwise. This Jewish Holocaust lie is perpetuated by the ADL and by the major Ivy League universities in the U.S., in particular, Yale. They are all Zionists. Not all Zionists are Jews (like Trump, for instance), but most Jews are Zionists. A few Jews over the years have blown the whistle on this thing and the whistle has been blowing for a long time, but nobody much seems to hear it. And, frankly, even knowing the truth about what I just wrote here is a little frightening. It’s another one of those things we’re not allowed to say or talk about in any way. But, if we don’t talk about it, we can’t get at the all important truth which will set us, as women, free.

I studied all of this stuff a long time ago. I read and studied the works of Marx and Hitler and I read the works of other prominent Germans, in the original language when I could obtain it. Still, I have a collection of these books on my shelves – things like The Zionist Connection, the Protocols of the Wise Men of Zion, the Truth About the Treaty (of Versailles), Der Bolschewismus von Moses bis Lenin by Dietrich Eckart (one of my favorites, which explains exactly what is going on in Germany and Sweden right now with the Muslim invasion. Eckart was a founding member of NASDAP and it was he who brought Hitler on board.), and multiple collectors copies of Mein Kampf, in English and the German. I, also, have lots of books on the subject of propaganda and the propaganda war because that was the essence of World War II and it is, in fact, the essence of any war.

The white man’s propaganda, which even black women and Hispanic women buy into, is that he is the best. If you are a black woman who can’t find a “good, strong black man,” you might turn your sights on a white man thinking that he is superior to the black man. If you believe the white man’s propaganda (put out by the Jewish media, which is supposedly the enemy and corrupter of the poor widdle, helpless white boys), you might find yourself a genuine Ward Cleaver or, at least, a Gilligan. Maybe he won’t hit you as hard or rape you quite as often. Maybe he can even hold down a high paying job and take you to the idyllic suburbs to live. But, this is a mirage – a false image of hope – for the black woman just as much as it is for many white women because the white man is a man just like any other.He’s just got a really good propaganda machine.

One aspect of his propaganda machine involves scapegoating. He scapegoats everybody and everything in an effort to distract from his own guilt, his own degeneracy. If you want to see some examples, just look at the news – just this past week or so, we’ve had a number of excellent examples of men scapegoating women, other men, a religion, and inanimate objects for their own wicked behavior. We had a white man at Stanford University who raped an intoxicated woman and blamed it on “party culture” and “alcohol.” Although, it doesn’t appear that he was drunk at the time of the crime (according to the two Swedish men on bicycles who caught him trying to kill a woman behind a trash dumpster) and it’s hard to understand what about the word “party” lends itself to rape and attempted murder.

We had another (undoubtedly staged event – one of many since Obama has occupied the White House, which don’t add up – literally, the numbers don’t add up on this one and there is no evidence of any actual killing presented) alleged mass shooting, this time in Orlando, Florida, in which a Muslim man somehow managed to shoot and kill 50 people at a fag bar and injure 50 more (this is where the story doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, at all – but most people don’t bother to investigate). In this obvious ploy to gain public sympathy for male perverts (and disarm victims, especially women), a religion has been blamed, American gun culture has been blamed, the 2nd Amendment has been blamed, the NRA has been blamed, guns (inanimate objects) have been blamed – almost everyone has been blamed except the shooter who is a man and, as we all know, it is men who kill.

The white man, especially the white supremacist types, like to blame the Jews for their own failings. While it is true that Jewish media, including Jewish porn, and Jewish universities have caused a lot of problems for white people, especially white women, who are most often the objects of the sexed up programming, pornification, and turning the white woman into the whore of the world, the white man has not resisted – instead, he has joined his Jewish brethren. Then, he’s like a little 5-year old with his hand caught in the cookie jar who points at his friend and says, “He made me do it!” But, the truth is no one made him do anything; he is simply exercising his own nature. He is a male being a male.

Increasingly white women despise men, especially the white man, and for this he blames not himself, but white women, the Jews, black men, Hispanic men, feminism and especially radical feminism (although they appear clueless about what it is). He never blames the real culprit – himself and his depravity, violence, and hatred toward white women. He is so certain we exist for him to rape and kill that  it never enters his mind, apparently, that he is too dangerous and despicable for any white woman to be in the same room with voluntarily.

Still, there are some women – some white women, in particular – who believe the white man can somehow be redeemed. They believe that we can work it out somehow (I don’t know how!). Perhaps this is the motivation of those Nordic pagan white supremacist women. Perhaps they believe the white man’s very old propaganda about life in the icy north before the arrival of the Christians. They say the women were warriors, too, who fought alongside the men. (They say this like it’s a good thing.) They believe that the white man, the brave Vikings – who, by the way, were terrors as much as they were traders the world over, raping and pillaging where they weren’t transacting business  – were examples of true and good men. (True as in troth – meaning loyal, loyal to the tribe.) There is a whole mythology about the All-father, Odin, and there are many female goddesses that figure into it and when it is placed next to Christianity, it is relatively less horrible for women. It is a way of romanticizing the white man, but it is just that – a romance, a fantasy, something that is not real and has absolutely no foundation in reality.

Some of them believe that the white male of the north was not such an asshole before the arrival of the Jewish religion, Christianity. They believe that without these foreign influences the white male could be somehow palatable to the white woman.

But, this is all a fantasy. It’s propaganda – old propaganda, dug up and resurrected for the purposes of the white nationalist movement.

I am familiar with a lot of it because I am familiar with Norse paganism. I used to wonder why having an interest in this subject would sometimes get me called a “Nazi.” After reading some of the writings of white nationalist women, I see where the confusion comes in. But, the fact is this: The Old Norse and the Vikings are a civilization with some merits to occultists like myself. We can learn from it. But,  like the civilizations that now lay in ruins south of the Rio Grande, they are a thing of the dead past and cannot ever be resurrected.

Romanticizing men is a dangerous thing for women to do. None of them are safe to be around and it’s the same story the world over. White men are not somehow inherently better because of their mythical Nordic ancestry. The truth about the old Norsemen is that they were uncouth. They bathed in their own filth, when they bathed at all, which was rarely. (The American sense of hygiene comes from the American Indians – not the white man, as I discovered personally when I visited Europe, where they have a completely different concept of such things.) The women were slaves within their tribe. When a man could not find a woman within his own tribe, he abducted one from a neighboring one. If the woman was suspected of being unfaithful, they shaved her head and beat her and did who knows what else, but I’m sure we can all guess because men always get around to it one way or another. Her children belonged to him and both she and they were given their owners’ name.

There is no redemption for anything this evil! Plus, I haven’t even started on the white man’s colonization escapades – right now, I’m just focusing on what he has historically done to white women, which is being romanticized – amazingly! – by these white supremacist women.

In one of Orwell’s Daughter’s audio posts, she says that she thinks it might be possible for white women to work things out with white men, if these foreign influences could somehow be extracted from them. If the Jewish perversion could somehow be exorcised, they could be good for women or, at least, something we could live with. I think this is what she was trying to say.

This, of course, caused me to recall many of the things I have written about above. It, also, caused me to wonder: What would a good man look like? What would a man have to be in order for me to be able to tolerate his presence – without keeping my hand on the loaded weapon in my pocket, at all times, that is? This is a little bit like talking about what a good snake  would look like. I once had a pet snake, so it’s all relative, I can tell you.

So, I thought that a good man, one who was tolerable, at least, would have to have the following characteristics:

  • Not be a rapist – meaning he can never have raped anyone, at all. This pretty much means he must never stick his dick in a woman or girl, at all, because we (or I, at least, and there are many women like me) don’t really want this and even if “consent” is obtained, as it frequently is through coercion, lies, false promises and misrepresentations (this used to be recognized as a crime by the law).
  • Not harass women and girls, not be a street harasser or a stalker
  • Not call women and girls cunts, bitches, and whores and otherwise insist that they long to be fucked by men.
  • Not hit, slap, punch, squeeze hard enough to injure and preferably not lay hands on women or girls, at all
  • Must not view porn, participate in porn, or visit strip clubs and similar establishments that rely on the exploitation of women
  • Must not deny economic, career, and other opportunities to women and girls

Now, this is a short and I think pretty fair list. These are some pretty bare requirements for not being a degenerate, a criminal, and a pervert, however, I can’t think of a single man I know who could pass muster, regardless of race, creed, nationality or personal relationship to me or lack thereof.

There is no way to have a really good relationship with a snake, either. They bite – unexpectedly. Even though you feed them and water them and dutifully clean their habitat, they might decide to wrap themselves around your neck and strangle you while you sleep. It’s the nature of the snake. When you take one into your home and try to make friends with it, these things are all in the back of your mind. It’s the same with men.

Based on my own experiences with men, as well as observing and reading about other women’s experiences, there is no way I could trust a man. I’d sooner have another snake in my house – really, I’d much rather sleep with a snake. If we’re taking calculated risks, the snake is a safer bet than the man is!

The question, I guess for these women, is: What level of threat is acceptable to you? For me, the answer is zero. This is why I do not ever advise women or girl to have relations or even friends who are males, if this is at all avoidable. Get away from men! If you value your health and your life, figure out how you are going to do what you want to do in life without them constantly trying to sabotage your work and kill you.

The idea that the white man is superior to anyone is laughable to me. I suspect that this is a romantic fantasy to these women who just cannot let go of men – they cannot stop loving men, even though it is as plain as the nose on your face that they are killing us! They are a grave danger to us. They are a terrible drain on our lives, on our energy, on our personal resources. Men are men and they are the same to women – all are death to us, either slowly or quickly, as they choose.





Breaking Sexual Mind Control Programming: A Personal Account

mindcontrolAs I have written about breaking mind control programming in the past few weeks, I have found that even more of my programming has broken down. I hope to describe this experience to you here without becoming overly personal or emotional. I write both to help myself and anyone else who happens upon this who finds it useful. While this post will be informational, it will probably be more on the self-indulgent side, so I hope you will excuse me for that.

I first experienced a crack in my mental programming surrounding sexuality and male-female relationships a couple of years ago. The catalysts for this experience were as follows:

The writings of an amazing mind at a blog called, Radical Wind, in particular a series of blogposts beginning with this one:  In this series of posts she says that female sexual attraction to males is “manufactured.” That word, “manufactured,” really stuck in my head and I started using that phrase in some of my writing and I was amazed when she sort of called me out on using her phraseology at my old private blog. I didn’t mean to steal, it’s just that this phraseology got into my head and I began to think of it as my own idea because I recognized it as the truth. It was certainly true in my case, anyway. I was, also, thrilled to discover that she was reading my writing.

At that time, I had been reading some other bloggers, including TrustYourPerceptions. This blogger is apparently a biologist and has done some excellent blog series in the past about the nature of the Y chromosome. Several days ago, she published a whole new series, which I spent an entire night reading and which I plan to comment on in detail soon. It’s a small marathon. You’ll find the beginning of it here:

Then, someone somewhere recommended the book, “Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men’s Violence, and Women’s Lives,” by  Dee Graham, Roberta Rigsby, Edna Rawlings.

You have immediate access to these works by clicking the links in the above paragraphs. If you start finding yourself, and your own life experiences in them, hold on to your seat. It can be a wild ride, but one that is well worth it.

I have experienced different sensations and even imagery in my deprogramming. The first time I broke major programming (Mormon programming when I was very young), I actually saw a wall break and crash down like a pane of glass in my mind. For weeks afterwards, I experienced the sensation of not being able to feel the earth under my feet or the feeling that the ground was moving or shifting. Since those early times, I’ve had some similar sensations when I run across historical information, for instance, that really rocks my world view – it literally makes me feel like I can’t find the floor beneath my feet for a couple of days. I’ve come to enjoy that sensation – to really welcome it.

But, when I first ran across this information about sexual mind control programming – that’s what I’m calling it, anyway – it was a little bit different. It has sunk in by degrees, but I would describe the sensation as more like an egg cracking. First you hit it and it does a little damage to the shell. But, sometimes you have to hit it a few more times before the contents are completely free. The first crack in the egg came when I first read the aforementioned works. But, it has only been in the last few weeks that I’ve felt the entire structure around that programming is destroyed.

This has been a little bit of a painful process for me. I have begun remembering things about my childhood, especially early childhood to about 14-years old. What really broke this last bit open was two things that I can think of. One was that I visited my parents several weeks ago. I had been having trouble with plumbing at the house and dealing with the idiot plumbers really frazzled me. So, I went to my parents’ house for some rest and respite.

The other thing was that bit of research I posted about The Kinsey Report in the previous blogpost. There was, also, something about reading BevJo’s blog, which I discuss in the post before that one. There were some things I strongly agreed with in, at least, one article at that blog, then there were some things I took issue with (namely that female heterosexuality is a privileged condition). This is why I like to read material from people who have a different point of view – I learn. What I saw in most of that blog looked like mind control programming to me, but I had never recognized it as such before. So, I began to theorize after reading it that all female sexuality, including lesbian sexuality, is the product of mind control programming. The reason I say this is pretty much two-fold: (1) I could see the programming in the writing and, as I said in a previous post, it is always easier to recognize someone else’s programming than it is your own; and (2) the information in The Kinsey Report. 

I could go on, at length, about lesbian friends of mine, their personal experiences, and why I believe sexuality in girls to be something other than natural and innate. But, those anecdotes don’t hold a candle to the hard evidence of the sexual grooming of girls that surrounds the work of Alfred Kinsey. It was Kinsey who implanted this idea in our culture, in our science, in our psychology, in our public schools, and in our media, that children have a sexuality. It is my belief that lesbianism in girls and women is a reaction to heterosexual grooming of girls. It is, at least, one way that girls and women react to it. In my opinion, it is better than heterosexuality, by far, however, I wonder how truly free a choice it really is. Of course, only the individual can answer that question for herself, but it is something to ponder.

It is from Kinsey’s work that we (in the modern U.S. and in other English-speaking countries)  get the idea that sexual orientation is innate – about homosexuals, it is said that “they are born this way.” But, this is obviously a lie because sexuality of any kind is not something any child is born with. Furthermore,  it corresponds with a lot of the propaganda about “lady brain” and “lady hormones,” which supposedly cause teen-aged girls to go wild for boys. These are lies – insidious lies, told to harm girls and to benefit males.

So, my egg really cracked when I began to remember some things from when I was very young. These memories were awakened, in part, by my visit to my parents.

My father was pretty abusive. He still can be, in fact, although he is a good father in other ways. He taught me a lot of things about money and finance. He taught me how to drive a stick-shift when I was 15. He taught me how to shoot when I was very young. He gave me a work ethic. He, also, gave me a lot of “fight” – a lot of rage, which has probably, ultimately, helped me to survive this many years.

But, I’ve, also, spent many years being very sad the way a lot of girls who are abused by their fathers do. I always thought it was my fault, somehow. I never knew what it was that I did wrong that made him hate me so much. But, the answer is a simple one, in fact, although it is a very painful one.

When I look back at my earliest memories, I do not remember having any sexuality. I was not sexually attracted to males. I never thought much about them, although, I was sexually assaulted by a boy with the assistance of another boy when I was 5. I was repeatedly kicked in the shins by another boy at age 5. This was allowed to go on, despite all the bruises. I was hounded for years by a particular boy, who I understand has spent a lot of his adult life in prison, who would sort of wave his crotch at me and make disgusting comments from the time we were both about 5. No one did anything to stop this, even though they knew it was happening.

I remember the first book that my mother used to read to me was Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty.” In retrospect, I think this was a bad choice. But, my mother would not have thought of any of this as programming. She was, herself, raped as an infant by a member of the family I never met. She was abused by brothers. She was physically abused, still bearing the scars on her back, by her father. She was confronted by pedophiles as a little child walking to and from school. So, she did not really have the resources to see the programming, to see the dangers.

My father worked a lot. I don’t remember much about him in my early years. He was gone a lot. He was either in the military or working at another job. I remember that I was always afraid of him. I never called him “Dad” or “Father” or anything like that. I still don’t. I don’t call him anything. I cannot bring myself to do it. I don’t remember why I was afraid of him except that he was a stranger to me and he was big and strong. I remember when he would pick me up that he hurt me – he always squeezed too hard, was always rough. So, I was much more attached to my mother.

I grew up in relative isolation. I did not see other children much at all until I was forced to enroll in school. It was there that I remember first being subjected to physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. It is for this reason that I am an advocate for closing down all public schools – they are only havens for for abusers and do the opposite of teaching, in my experience.

Since I grew up out in the country, I did not develop very good social skills. In fact, I would not develop them until I was in my twenties. Some of this, also, has to do with Mormonism.

To my knowledge my parents had never been very religious. I remember only a couple of occasions of dressing up and going to the local Catholic Church on Easter Sunday, but that was the extent of it. This changed when I was 11-years old. That’s when a neighbor sicced the Mormon Missionaries on us.

Somewhere along in there, I remember seeing my father more, but he went from being sort of absent to actively abusive. I don’t know why, except that I had turned 12 and had my first period. This was something he had to run to tell his mother. Between the two of them, they decided, apparently, that I was a whore.

Before I was a whore, I had been a straight-A student, top of the class, teacher’s pet, never been in trouble of any kind, and never really had the opportunity to be because, as I said, we lived in the country. I didn’t really get to socialize like a normal child/teen until I was 16-years old and able to drive. No opportunity to socialize means, by the logical flow of things, no real chance to go a whorin’. Nonetheless, this idea was fixed, apparently, in the mind of my father and, I believe, my grandmother, who liked to make up all kinds of stories about me supposedly being seen around the nearby town doing various whorish things by her friends.

The influence of this filthy religion, I believe, played a role in my father’s abuse, which only intensified. I recognized, too the language that he used as Mormon language. For instance, when he repeatedly called me “Satan.” Also, when he threatened me, “You will keep your chastity.” This word, chastity, makes me feel like vomiting – just typing it makes me sick. He threatened to ruin my face, to damage my face – I can’t remember his exact words – so that no man would ever look at me. After I was seen having a conversation with a boy once, I remember that he attacked me. I can’t remember where the attack began. I was only about 13 (and skinny as a scarecrow, despite him telling me how fat I was all the time), when he hit me in the face and said, “This is how men are going to treat you.” He kept hitting me in the face – and he’s a huge man, very muscular, so much so that he was feared by other men and well-known for getting into fist fights – and I tried to escape. I ran under his arms, at one point and ran for the stairs – 12 stairs, at the bottom of which was a concrete floor – and he hit me, again. My mother caught me somehow, but she was so afraid that he was going to knock me down the stairs, that things, after that, were not as physical.

Still, he found more ways to abuse and the psycho-sexual abuse became more intense. I was constantly accused of things, usually sexual things and sexual behaviors. This went on and on and has actually continued to this day – or, at least, up until my last visit at their house.

There were some other abuses, which I am leaving out because they are too horrible and painful to recall, let alone write and I’ve never said some of them out loud. But, this went on and on. I was about 24-years old before I decided to have sexual relations with a carefully selected male. It terrified me. I was afraid of sex and afraid of men. I was right to be afraid of them, of course, but at the time, I was trying to work through all of this horrific sex programming and work through the effects of this abuse. I consciously had sexual relations with this male for the purpose of deprogramming.

But, at least, in my personal story, in my personal memories, I do not recall having a sexuality. I do not recall having sexual urges for males or females, as it is claimed we are supposed to do as supposedly “hormonal” teenagers.

I remember being accused of these things often. I was accused by church members. I was ogled by old men in the church as a young girl of about 13 and this was regarded as normal – even when it was accompanied by inappropriate commentary to my mother.

I had a complete revulsion to males, especially white males, which was really all I knew. This was a very white community.

So, what has happened with these memories and my next level of breaking down the programming is that I have gone beyond forgiving myself. This is the first thing I did when I realized what had gone on – that I was not to blame for male violence against me or my reactions to it. I think it’s the first thing any of us must do because most all of us who have been victims of this thing have had a million fingers pointed at us. So, we forgive ourselves – no one else, because we are not obligated to forgive them, nor would it really be right, in my opinion. It would be a sin against ourselves to forgive such things.

I have gone beyond getting rid of every last male so-called friend I ever had. They’re all a bunch of parasites looking for a place to park their dicks. So, they don’t really deserve any kind of consideration.

Now, I have remembered what I was like when I was a little girl – when I was 3, 5, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14. I remembered that and when I did, I was able to see it all from another perspective.

But, what is horrible and scary about this realization is actually coming to the full understanding that I bear no blame. What is scary about that particular realization is that if we bear no blame, then we have no control over the situation.

The truth that I came to was this: At the point my father decided I was a whore, there was no way I could either fall or rise in his estimation of me. I always tried to please him, but that was impossible! I never knew why before, but then it hit me. I could have won the Nobel Prize or I could have robbed a bank – nothing would have changed their opinion of me one way or the other. To my father I am a whore and will always be a whore.

I have cried a lot the past few weeks. But, that was my final conclusion. My father is a pervert just like all other men are perverts. They perv on little girls. They perv on their daughters. They join in when other men do it. I remember one of the hired help (a particularly pervy old man) once saying to my father while I was within earshot, “You’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick.” I was probably about 12 or 13. The man was in his forties, at least. I was disgusted. But, my father seemed to take this type of commentary to heart. He never asked me – never once – what I thought. He never asked me. He always told me. He always accused me.

Even now, he accuses me. He knows I live alone, that I have nothing to do with men, that I’m afraid of men, that I’m afraid to leave my house, etc. Still, he accuses me. What the Hell?! 

So, you see this is mental programming – it is my father’s programming. It is from religious programming and apparently from just being a sick male. I believe males do have a sexuality and their sexuality is to hurt us, to try to destroy us. Even my own father, I believe, tried to destroy me. He tried to drive me to suicide when I was about 13 or 14. But, I saw what he was doing. He has always hated me, deep down, even though he has not been a bad father in other ways – he has always hated me simply because I exist.

The horrible picture that emerges is the same as before. But, in going back further, I can see it even clearer than before. I see the grooming. I see the evil of males. I see the evil of their religious structure. I see their intergenerational abuse, intergenerational rape at work in my own family. My own mother being quite powerless – almost entirely powerless to stop him. She allowed him to abuse me because she really had no choice. We would have starved without him.

And, I learned to be an actress. I became the best actress in the world. I’m still that. I am a performer. I had to learn to do this to survive in my own home. And, this is still how I behave in the presence of men most of the time – I hate it. I hate being an actress, but I do it because I know how violent they can be for no reason. My father used to come home and either ignore me or abuse me – accusing me of something, sometimes sexual things that I didn’t even know what they were. So, I learned to act. I learned to become a piece of furniture.

I had another memory – a little bit later one, which I think illustrates what a lack of sexuality I have/had. I remember some guy asking me about my “sexual fantasy.” I had no concept of what he was talking about. I was probably anywhere from 17 to 19. I said, “I’d just like to be safe.” And, that’s what I remember feeling my whole life. I wanted to be safe because I wasn’t safe in my own home. Even now the sound of heavy footsteps terrifies me. I was an only child, but I used to play in the closet or under the bed to hide. I just wanted to disappear.

So, anybody who says that religion is good or moral is absolutely wrong. In fact, religion (especially Christianity here in the U.S.) is the reason for so much abuse of children, especially girls. It is the first and last reason for the abuse of women by men, whether they are related to us or not. The family, too, is an evil construct.

It is my opinion that women and their daughters would be far better off without males in their lives. I don’t believe that daughters, especially, need fathers and I think that fathers are more often than not extremely abusive to their daughters. They abuse little tiny baby girls because it is their nature to hate us. The family is not natural, but an artificial construct, designed for the benefit of male abusers.

A lot of things that appear natural are really artificial constructs. This is what I am learning by deprogramming.

In my memories, I came across some other odd things. They had to do with spirituality. I will share a couple of these because I think they are kind of interesting. I know not everybody is into this kind of thing, but I’m amazed at how many women have similar experiences to mine. It’s just something we don’t usually talk about because, again, we are conditioned not to. We are conditioned to ridicule it or to fear the ridicule of it.

When I was little I remember having a very large energy field. It was big and round. It was much larger than my physical body. I was talking to a friend some years ago about odd things and she told me that she remembered something similar as a little girl. She said, she remembers asking her mother, “Remember when I was big?” The energy field we both experienced felt “big.” I remember that, too.

I had another memory of being with my mother in the car. I must have been 5 or 6-years old and I remember telling her that I thought I was having a nightmare and I couldn’t wake up. I often thought that my life was just a nightmare and I would wake up and find out that I was safe somewhere. I remember seeing myself, looking into a pool of water down onto myself in my physical body.

I, also, remember a conversation with my mother when I was a little bit older asking her why I wasn’t able to hear what was in other people’s minds. She thought that was “silly.” It seemed like something I should be able to do. But, as it turns out, I am a mind reader. I actually can hear other people’s thoughts – word-for-word, what’s about to come out of their mouths. I can see “videos” of events at the fore of their minds, sometimes. I often know what is going to happen (I get a sort of a vision) before it happens, although I am rarely able to intervene to stop it when it’s something really bad.

I was feeling very sad last night and I saw “myself,” again. I have a physical body like everyone, but I am aware that I have another self. She’s gotten bigger. She’s is made of that same kind of white-grey light that I remember that big field I had around me was made of. It began to occur to me that maybe this is a place where our spirits grow, if they get the chance. Maybe this is why THEY want to kill us, why they want us to kill ourselves. They are darkness – I see them, too. I see them surrounded in the black hole of malice and hatred. I see THEIR selves and they are demonic. They look like demons or aliens you see in illustrations. And, I can’t help but wonder if this war they are waging on us, even as little girls has something to do with that. If we live, what do we become? Why do they fear us so much? If you saw this beautiful thing that I am, you’d know why we are something to be afraid of. I cannot believe how large it has grown since the last time I spoke with this aspect of myself.

This breaking down of mental programming is leading me beyond just the break down of religious, sexual, and social mind control programming. I think there is something beyond this dense physical world that is going on, something we can get in touch with, if we break enough of the patriarchal mind control programming.

But, enough with this metaphysical stuff for now. I will talk about this a little more when I make my commentary on Trust Your Perceptions’ excellent blog post series. If you are scientifically-minded, I think you will enjoy it. She does a fine job of cutting through the patriarchal nonsense of orthodox science and makes it more intellectually accessible to women. She places the words of male scientists in the context of our actual lived experiences. rather than the sick male fantasies they project onto us.

Thank you for reading. I really wrote this to get some things out of my head so I could move on, but I hope you find something of use in it. At the very least, check out the blogs and the book referenced above.

Additional note: Also, take a look at this post by Radical Witch:, which discusses how fathers build the foundation for  sex abuse by terrorizing their daughters in infancy.  This is child sex grooming, which is generally regarded as normal and healthy by society, especially when it occurs in the context of the nuclear family. Again, there is nothing natural about this. It is entirely artificial.