I was 9-years old and riding in the back seat of the car when, in the course of some conversation between my parents in the front seat, I blurted out that I would never be treated like my mother was treated (by my father – this was implied, not stated). And, my father started screaming at me, telling me I was being influenced by “liberal” teachers at school and this wasn’t really my opinion. But, of course, I had seen by the age of 9 all kinds of abuse and I had been subjected to plenty of it because we were a typical, average, normal, even enviable, example of the traditional nuclear family. My parents never divorced, were never married to other people. My mother never even dated another male.
She married my father to escape her own traditional nuclear family in which she was a slave, raped by a family member as an infant, abused, beaten, and forced to cook for and clean up after her brothers, and denied an education (was not permitted to graduate by her father who said that women only needed to know how to cook and clean). She, also, had a couple of brothers who were not very good examples of human beings. I don’t blame my mother for any of the abuse because even to this day, she cannot see it, cannot recognize that it happened, denies outright things she told me definitively occurred in the past, and simply is unable to mentally cope with the reality, with the terrible, terrible reality, of this. Nor is she able to recall any of the abuses that my father inflicted on me. She has no memory of it.
I always knew something was wrong with “the family.” It’s such an evil institution that it has to be reinforced over and over again, like other evils, through religion and government reinforcement, ie. licensed marriage. If it were not forced and reinforced, no woman or girl would voluntarily participate in it. It is nothing more than a slave institution and one that allows men to get their hands on women and little girls, to abuse them, sexually, physically, psychologically, emotionally, and in every other way.
I was relieved when I ran across an old volume of a feminist magazine, “No More Fun and Games: A Journal of Female Liberation,” Vol. 1, No. 1, 1968. In about the third article it talks about the old Roman slavery unit, we know as the traditional nuclear family. It is a slave institution, hierarchical in nature, with a man at the top, a woman, her children, and his other slaves beneath him. He had/has power of life and death over his wife and her children. When we examine this, we see why men sexually abuse their daughters, rape their wives, and sometimes stalk and kill them when they try to escape. This is the institutional origins of male entitlement to women and girls.
I read it for the first time a few years ago, but it bears reviewing. I thought of it, again, as I was digging around in some old books about the American Indian civilizations south of the border. I’ve mentioned before that I love Germany, but I’m also a big lover of Mexico. I speak Spanish (like a Mexican and proudly so) and I like to keep an eye on events down south of the border.
Before the first modern Europeans are recorded to have come (in the 16th century to Mexico – the Columbus story is a fraud, of course. He was never on this continent.) to Mexico, there was an entirely different kind of civilization there. The Spanish religious men who came decimated most, but not all, records of these people, their social order, and their ways. Many of their languages still survive (in fact, we use a few of their words in American English, usually for animals and plants). These were and are written languages and the people had sophisticated systems of mathematics, architecture, astronomy, botany, and medicine. The Spanish religious men seemed to be especially appalled that many of the tribes and their cities were led and built by women and they made a point of destroying those cities, records of them, and, of course, torturing (including sexually, of course) the women, who were primary targets of the Mexican [Spanish] Inquisition.
I have been trying to piece together certain things about these people and how they lived, why they did certain things, which make no sense in a civilization where you have the traditional nuclear family. It has occurred to me that they had a completely different system (one that probably led to a maintenance, but not a great growth of the population, especially the male half of it) and that this is what allowed them to do the marvelous things they did.
When women are not enslaved, when men are not constantly making war on women, civilizations advance. Some of them live in peace for a long time and they progress technologically and spiritually (I apologize for using that word, “spiritually,” but there’s not a good English word for what I really want to say). They are able to develop abilities that are considered “superhuman” or “magical” or “sorcery” by the likes of white, European men. And, maybe that’s another reason why they just won’t leave us the Hell alone in any circumstance.
This is intended to be a short post. I just want to leave you with that thought and with the link to that 130 page magazine. If you download the .pdf file, it’s probably easier to read. I hope you enjoy it, if you haven’t seen it already.