There are basically two types of feminists: Those who think we cannot achieve liberation without the help of men; and those of us who realize that men have no intentions of ever gracefully granting us liberation from themselves.
The former are a class of optimists who are generally called “liberal feminists.” They really have the best intentions and they believe in men, at least, they believe in the possibility that there are good men who do not wish to exploit and abuse women and girls.
The rest of us are a class of realists, many of whom have been exposed to johns, domestic abusers and a string of rapists. We re generally called “radical feminists.” We know men’s secrets, we learned them at the hands of violent men, in strip clubs, in brothels, in strip clubs turned brothels, on the street, at our offices and in our own bedrooms while we were trying to sleep. Men hate us most of all because we know! We are the survivors. We are still breathing, even though in their estimation and in the estimation of many terrified liberal feminists who imagine that they could somehow never be like us, we should be dead.
We understand that men are a danger to women and girls. We know it in real-world, gritty, unforgettable ways. Even a little contact with men is a danger to us. There is no safe amount of this poison.
This is why this blog is especially for women. At this blog, I never talk to men. Men exist only as a problem that must be recognized and somehow solved. Each of us must find her own personal solution. We must figure out how to survive as best we can.
I never ask why men do the things they do to us. There is no answer to this question that isn’t the product of male diabolism. They have a million excuses for why they must harm us, all of them have to do with scapegoating us for their own weaknesses and evils. Nothing a man has to say about this is of any value because nothing good can come of anything they have to say. There is no way to fix them. Certainly, even if there were, we cannot do it and we are not responsible for cleaning up men’s messes.
I never talk to men because there is no need to inform men about what they are doing to us. They already know because they’re the ones doing it to us and they like it this way. It is women who must be informed about men, who and what they really are and what they are doing to us.
Men will never really help women and we can do much better without their “help.” Liberal feminists tend to disagree with this statement because they still have blind faith that there is some hope for men to learn not to rape and abuse. They believe that men can be taught not to do these things to women and girls despite all evidence to the contrary. They hope that the present system and its laws can be changed to become more favorable to women. The truth is that most such changes in the past several decades have only been superficial and have done nothing to stop men from raping, abusing, trafficking, prostituting, pornography-ing and murdering us. In fact, it all seems to have gotten a lot worse as men have resisted efforts by feminists to mitigate men’s violence against us. Men will never allow legislation requiring them to give up their porn or to punish men who rape, traffic, abuse and murder women and girls. We must find other solutions – solutions that go to the root of the problem, which is men.
Men have no place in women’s conversations about women’s liberation from men. Whenever men are allowed to participate they use the opportunity to steer and control the conversation. They will try to pervert any discussion of women’s rights by inserting the interests of men. They will bring race into the discussion when it is not only irrelevant, but it is men who created racial division. They will bring in the cause of men who imagine themselves to be women to control every aspect of our conversations right down to the words we use. They make accusation of “ablism” and other ‘isms when these are irrelevant. They insist that we maintain a male world-view. They disrespect us in other ways by denying our real-life, personally lived experiences and valuing males and male-dominated systems (often citing statistics, legal mumbo jumbo, psychiatric mumbo jumbo designed to enforce patriarchy against women, allegedly scientific studies, etc.) over the reality of our actual lives. They insist that we share their male fantasies about themselves and ourselves (ie. gender and gender-role stereotypes). Men are poisonous to all online discussions by women about women’s liberation from men. Men are oppressors and whenever they are given the opportunity to speak or act among women, they behave as what they are: Oppressors of women.
If men genuinely wish to help women, the best thing they could possibly do is go away and leave us alone. Men have done such an incredible amount of damage already and anytime they try, or at least pretend to try, to help us out, they only make things worse. So, the best thing they could possibly do for us is to keep their hands and dicks off and out of us and to close their mouths and keep their stupid opinions to themselves. In the past, I have thought that the best thing men could do is talk to other men about how to stop their violence against us, but even this is a bad idea, as you can see from this post by another feminist blogger, at Rad Fem Groundhog Day, just today about a male “ally” involved in the Australian White Ribbon Campaign. This is a perfect example of why men simply need to sit on their hands and shut their mouths when it comes to women: White Ribbon Australia and Fifty Shades of Betrayal.
Any woman who has been raped or abused by men knows that part of what they do involves verbal abuse and mind games of all kinds. When men can’t put their hands on women, they use the internet to abuse us. They troll, they threaten, they infiltrate, they undermine. Therefore, we should never give them that opportunity. Men should not be provided with more opportunities to abuse us by welcoming them into our discussions. We don’t need to hear the words of rapists and abusers and we have every right to protect ourselves from not only physical assaults, but mental, emotional and spiritual assaults by men.
Men are violent. Any interaction with them can lead to a sense of their ownership and entitlement over us. Any presence of ours anywhere can cause men to rage. We must be conscious that we are under constant threat by men and the most dangerous men are the ones that are wolves in sheep’s clothing – those who pretend to be our friends and “allies.”
The enemy of our enemy is NOT our friend. Just because a man says he opposes the MRM does not mean he is our “ally.” There are some male bloggers who focus on arguing against the MRM (Men’s Rights Movement) and none of them are doing us any real favor, no matter how many accolades they get from some feminists. They are there to control the conversation and often to make money through donations at their website or through the promotion of their books. When they write or give interviews, they do so from a patriarchal perspective, from the perspective of the oppressor, and they do not have any real empathy for women or any understanding of women’s human rights. They always have sympathy with their brothers, who they feel “may have a few good points.”
Just because a man claims he despises the act of rape or the beating or other abuses of women does not mean he is a friend to women. It should come as no surprise that most rapists and abusers of women are, also, liars. Never believe what a man says about respecting women as human beings just because he talks a good game. This is an extremely common tactic of rapists and abusers.
The most prudent, safest thing any woman can do is to try to stay far away from men, both in real life situations and online.
Of course, this is difficult if not impossible to do. But, it’s a good life strategy to, at least, make a long-term plan to get as far away from them as possible.
Men are always monitoring us. When they are not sticking their dicks into our conversations, they are watching us, often trying to stir up violence against us and abusing us elsewhere online.
The fact that we are always being monitored and interfered with by hostile men is why my first blog was made private. It is why we must be careful what we say and how we present ourselves publicly online. Men are always watching. It is not in their nature to simply leave us alone. They can’t do it on the street, in our homes, or in our workplaces and they can’t do it online.
For this reason, I urge women to always be cautious online. This blog is a psychologically safe place for women to read and comment. But, keep in mind that they are always watching us, always monitoring and policing our words.